First times

Para la versión en español, pincha aquí Primeras veces

Well, this topic is a bit melancholic, it is a bit sweet and sour, but what can I say? Every time my kid discovers, does or says something for the first time makes me super happy, but it also makes me realize that the surprise on his face from his discovery means is growing up.

I was thinking about writing a post just dedicated to the very first words my kid said, but then I thought about all the other things he is doing and experiencing for the first time and I couldn´t resist.

I remember that at the very beginning, when he was a new born, he was only sleeping, eating, popping, reset… Sleeping, eating, pooping, reset… the most exciting thing that happened was one night, when we run out of clean cloths and we had to dress him with a pair of socks, a big t-shirt and the nappy.

But as soon as he started to be just a little more independent, he started to discover a whole world of opportunities and amazing things.

He first discovered his hands… OMG he was just sitting there, looking at his hands, amazed by the move of the little fingers, licking them like if there was no tomorrow!
And what do you think I was doing??? Well, I was hiding just behind him, recording everything with the camera and with a huge smile on my face, bigger than Julia Robert´s.

Then he discovered his feet, he was also tasting them, just to make sure he wasn´t missing anything good in life, you know… (¨thanks God he isn´t walking yet¨ I thought by that time)

I still remember the first time he smiled, the first time he laughed, the first time he said ¨mama¨, the first time he said ¨papa¨ or when he started crawling…

And then I realized how innocent, healthy and good kids are. When they are this little, they don´t do anything to bother, they just do it without thinking any further, they just do it without thinking about the consequences.

It´s amazing how they really enjoy little and simple things.
I was in love, but watching him experimenting new things made me be madly in love.

In my case, there is also something that fills me with joy. Having lived overseas and going to a bilingual daycare, it is incredible when my kid comes home ¨talking¨ in two different languages (even if it isn´t very clear, us moms develop the same language that our kids talk and we can understand them to perfection)

But I also remember one time that we went to the beach to watch a competition. We prepared some sandwiches and snacks. And I remember feeling so proud looking at my kid, standing there, eating the sandwich all by himself.

Nowadays, we are starting with potty training. The first time he pee in the toilet I was almost crying! How can something that basic, that adults do every day, be so exciting when it is a ¨first time¨?

And I have to admit, I´m jealous of my kid sometimes. That purity and innocence that only little kids have.

Those discoveries that aren´t important for adults, but that mean the world to our little ones. Those first times, when we reach for the remote that daddy doesn´t let us touch, when we learn how to splash in the bath, when we try an ice-cream and is cold, when we pat a puppy, when we bite a lemon and it´s sour, but it doesn´t scare us, we just want more, more ¨first times¨, more first discoveries, more first adventures, that make us grow little by little, full of hope, leaving a smile on our face and lovely memories.

Proudest and happiest mom on Earth

Para la versión en español, pincha aquí La mama mas feliz de la Tierra

A few weeks ago I was contacted by ¨The Honest Company¨ (https://www.pinterest.com/HonestCompany/) and they suggested me to write about my experience ¨feeding a new born¨
I thought about it and realized that it was a great idea so I started working on it.

I remember that after 16 hours of labor, as soon as my baby was born I was the proudest and happiest mom on Earth. After all that effort my little one had just gone through, he knew exactly where to go to get his food.
He seemed to be able to attach properly and because of all of the oxytocin and emotions from the birth it didn´t hurt at all. I was so happy!

After this, I went to sleep and so my newborn. The next time I nourished him was the next morning. He seemed to be getting something, but it was hurting too much. I remember one midwife coming over to tell me that I had to sit straight and try to relax my body, something that I couldn’t do as it was to painful.

I thought that this was going to improve as soon as we arrive home.

That same day, after less than 24 hours since my baby was born, I went home and I remember that even being in the same house as two days before, everything felt new. New sleeping routines, new feeding routines, new feelings, a new whole little person in our life that didn´t come with a manual and that demanded milk every two hours… A new beginning.

Around the third day at home, all the milk came up to my boobs.  My body was ready to feed my little newborn.
But when feeding time approached, I just wanted to cry… in my personal experience, this wasn´t the bonding moment with my baby that I had heard about so many times.
I remember siting and trying to think about something relaxing while he was trying to attach, but my body could only stay tense from top to toes.
It was clear that my baby wasn´t attaching and I didn´t know what else to do to make it happen. I was very frustrated. ¨Why wasn´t I able to provide the basics to my baby?¨

IMG_0454After some time, this got us into a situation where the little one cried more often as he was hungry and I got a big mastitis (something that I do not wish anyone to have).
I was discouraged, sad and couldn’t really enjoy the time with my new born.

After a while trying and not improving, as my nipples were also bleeding, we decided that buying a ¨pump¨ was a good option to consider. So we did buy one.
It wasn´t hurting anymore, but it was taking a bit more of time for sure.

This was pretty easy when my mom and husband were at home with me, they were in charge of helping with the bubba, they were in charge of feeding him while I was expressing, and they were in charge of cooking to make sure I was getting enough energy in my body and food in my belly.
But after they were gone, this wasn´t sustainable anymore. I was spending far too much time pumping myself, feeding the baby, changing his nappy and getting him to sleep and doing other things that I had to do all by myself. This situation didn´t left too much time for me (to eat, shower, clean, relax, enjoy a cuppa or anything…)

Before my mom left I started to freeze all the remaining milk that the baby wasn´t drinking, because as most of us know, new borns have a very little stomach.
So that way I had provisions just in case I needed them anytime.

I know breastfeeding shouldn´t have been painful, I have been told that way too many times, but I didn´t find the right help or I probably was so lost that I didn´t even know where or how to ask for it.
Now when I look back I just think to myself ¨Don´t be silly! If this ever happens again, ask questions Laura… ask as many times as you need to, ask to as many people as you feel like… ask you mom, other moms, your midwife, your doctor, friends…¨

Just a few days before my mum went back to Spain, I talked to her as I was feeling down and miserable. My husband wasn´t coming back home in another fifteen days and my mother was also leaving. I was going to be with the baby all by myself and I wasn´t sure I was going to be able to keep feeding him this way all alone.

¨Why not trying formula?¨ I thought to myself.

Then is when casually I had a doctors appointment (to check that my stomach muscles where going back to where they belong) perfect timing to be honest.
There I found a genuine, kind and a good listener professional, that didn´t impose any option and that didn´t judge me… And he spent the time I needed to go through my situation.
I talked to him and shared my feelings… I remember my eyes very watery.

He suggested me to try formula. He agreed that breast milk helps to immunize the baby, but he said that for a baby to grow healthy there are also other things to consider… The baby also needs a fit and healthy mother to look after him.
There is when I opened my eyes, I needed to be that fit mom for my baby!

As I have said many times before, I am not trying to say one way of feeding a baby is better than the other, but every single person needs to consider their personal circumstances and what’s best for mother and child. In my personal experience breastfeeding or pumping milk didn´t work out, so I changed to formula to make the situation improve. And it did.

I arrived home. I called my husband and he supported me with any decision I was taking. I told my mom and she said exactly the same.

That evening I took the tablets to stop the milk flowing and cried… And so I did the next day, I cried…
I was feeling the worst mother ever.
But now when I look back, I realized that I  was actually being the best mom I could. I was worrying about my new born well being and I was making the right decision for both of us: he was going to have milk in his stomach to make sure he was growing healthy and I was going to be mentally fit to look after him and happy to enjoy all the little moments.

I started feeding him formula once a day and using the frozen breast milk for the other feds. After a few days I increased the feds of formula and started reducing the ones of breast milk. I kept doing that till I run out of my frozen breast milk.

After a while, he started demanding milk every three hours and then every four.
Midwifes guided me in how much milk he was meant to drink and how often, something really useful.
He also started sleeping longer hours during the night, what allowed me to rest and wake up ¨full¨ of energy (as full as you can when you have a baby)

Basically, now that I was feeling happy I was able to invest my time enjoying him. So is then when we started to know each other… I started to know when he was hungry, I started to know if he wanted more milk… And I started to enjoy all those small moments, like when he was falling sleep while sucking from the bottle… He looked so cute! He was so tired but didn´t want to give up his milk.
And I was happy, very happy… Just like when he attached at the very beginning when he was born…. I was having that same feeling again… I was the proudest and happiest mom on eart

 

The very beginning…

Para la versión en español pincha aquí El origen…

What a coincidence, writing this post around mother´s day, that is when, two years ago I found out that I was pregnant. The very beginning…

I remember when my husband and I started to talk about having a baby.
It was something that we both wanted, but never really talked about it ¨very seriously¨.

One day, I went to the ladys´doctor and she started asking me heaps of questions like… ¨What are you using not to get pregnant?¨, ¨Are you thinking about having a baby?¨, ¨Are you in a serious relation?¨
I don´t know how did it happened, but she ended up giving me a brochure with information about ¨what to take in consideration if trying to get pregnant¨
And then is when I started ¨very seriously¨ to picture me with a baby.

After reading it, I left the brochure on the kitchen table as I wanted my husband to see it.
I have always wanted to have babies so when my husband arrived from work, he thought that I asked the doctor about this on purpose.

We talked about it that date, saying out loud what we were both thinking, we both wanted to be parents so we started trying…

After just 2 months, I got pregnant.

I remember that one day, just a few days after getting pregnant, I was in my lunch break in the office and couldn´t stand the perfume from one of my colleagues (I even had to turn around)
Then, a few days later, my body was asking me to eat something salty… I even thought about going to the kitchen and just eat a pinch of salt, don´t judge me I didn´t have anything else around)
One night after this, I was watching TV with my partner and my boobs… OMG! they hurt sooooo much, but I didn´t take it into consideration.

Then is when on a Saturday in May (just before mother´s day) I was laying in bed and started to Google ¨How to know if you are pregnant¨ and then I read something that made me think I was… ¨Just before menstruation, your body craves sweet, but when pregnant, it normally craves salty¨, then I read about ¨sore boobs¨ and ¨feeling nauseated¨ so I added all of them up and realized that I was pregnant.

I went food shopping and when going through the ¨health and care¨aisle I saw the pregnancy tests. They were just calling my name.
I was so nervous and excited that I just took the first one that my hand could reach and put it in my shopping basket.

I went home and I could feel that I was getting more and more excited about it. When I took the box out of the shopping bags I realized that I had bought 3 pregnancy test (it was a box with 3 of them inside). Well, if you think about it it wasn´t that bad, at least I was going to make sure that the result was the same 3 times.

Then I thought, ¨Should I wait for my husband?¨
He was working but coming home at lunch time.
I waited for a little bit, but the butterflies inside were getting into my nerves and I couldn´t wait any longer.
I took one of the sticks out and pee on it. It said you had to wait for ten minutes, so I went into the shower to try not to think about it.
Those ten minutes were looooooooongggggg.

I looked thought the shower glass and I could see there was some pink color showing in the stick. I started cleaning the glass to be able to see clearly.
OMG! I couldn´t believed, after only 2 months trying I was pregnant.
I was so happy that I started dancing and singing while finishing showering. I was even talking to the future baby inside me.

I came out of the shower and dressed up as I had to go pick up my husband from work in a very short time.

Then I thought using another pregnancy test, ¨Why not using a second one to make sure the prediction is right?¨ I thought.
So that is what I did. Second one… same result. OMG! This was real! Yihaaaa!!!

I went into the car and head to my husbands´work. Those fifteen minutes, were the longest fifteen minutes of my life. They seemed like one hour, at least.

I finally arrived and picked him up. I didn´t want to tell him while I was driving, but my smile and excitement was so big that I couldn´d wait.
He was in shock, in a good way. He couldn´t believe that what yesterday was just a thought and a plan for the future, today was real, it was happening… We were going to be dad and mom.

 

More than “good enough”

Para la versión en español, pincha aquí MuchoMasQueSuficiente

Well, well, well… this is a very tricky subject… Postpartum
Uhm… I don’t think I would call it “postpartum”. I would rather call it… “Craziness”, “New era”, “I don’t know what the fuck am I doing” or “Am I good enough endless doubt”.
Do you get what I’m saying?

Yes, we all know that being a mom is an amazing experience. I love my kid and all the great and bad times that come along with motherhood. We all have been babies once and human beings have survived having even ten babies in the same family, but holly molly, you don’t really know what is all about until you have your own.

I remember when I was pregnant, going to the “preparation to birth” and other classes to the hospital. I was feeling very happy, excited and motivated about it and I was feeling a bit more ready and confident after them. But when the moment arrived, I wasn’t ready… at all!

Maybe wasn’t that, maybe I was ready but I didn’t even know where to start from, or how to start. “Why is he crying?” ,”Is he hungry?” ,”How do I bath him?” ,”Is it to hot for that pijama?” ,”Is this milk warm enough?”
I thousand questions that don´t come with a manual.

As I said on one of my latest post, I had trouble breastfeeding, but adding to that, I was very constipated and my dorsal muscles were very painful (they said because of all the effort while pushing during labor) and I only could had paracetamol to make the pain go away. GREAT!
So nothing to do with the idyllic and amazing picture from the movies.

Some people will think this is just winging without reason, but I don´t care. The time after giving birth is just a hormone party in your body.
And yes, sometimes you just feel like shit (sometimes too often) because your body is not the same, you don’t sleep enough hours, you’re feeding a new little person night and day, in my case every 2 hours, you have pain in some places you didn’t even know they existed before, because you have been stitched up (down there) and because you don’t feel sexually appealing …at all.

But even with all these going on, you still look after a human being that doesn’t know how to communicate with you in any other way apart of crying.

Some days you just think that you are not good enough! Or believe that you are going to faint, because really, what kind of person can survive sleeping those short hours a day????

But let me tell you… you are more than “good enough”, because you are there for that little baby, waking up every 2 hours (some of you even more often), because you are taking out your breast in public to feed your kid (even if you are super shy), because you are always thinking about that new person first, knowing that this could mean not having a shower in a few days, dressing the same jeans for a month or eating anything that’s available in your kitchen, yes, even that broccoli that you hate so much.

So let me tell you again, you are MUCH MORE than “good enough.”

That´s why you don’t have to worry, don’t think you are alone on this, I haven’t meet a mom yet that hasn’t told me this same story (your story, my story, our story) and if someone ever said to you “postpartum was easy and no troubles at all” BIG BULLSHIT!

But everything gets better, you will start to know your baby, she/he will start to know you, she/he will adapt to a new world and step by step your baby will start to be a little person, so if you are having one of those hard days, wash your face with cold water, put some red lipstick on, make yourself a Nutella toast and make yourself smile. Tomorrow will be a new day, and I´m sure it will be a wonderful one.

For all those mums around the world, YOU ARE MUCH MORE THAN ENOUGH!

Memories´ box…

Para la versión en español, pincha aquí CajitaDeLosRecuerdos

This post has a lot of variety, as I’m referring to memories that are worth remembering.

I don’t even know where to start from… So many stories that you can tell everyone about being a mom… Experiences, new things that you learn every single day, anecdotes, funny facts…
But I must start saying that most people are very considered and generous when you have a kid.

I remember one time… it was early in the morning and I was going to travel from New Zealand to Spain with my 4 month old baby by myself. I remember some workers from the airport and the airline that helped me so much that I even wanted to cry, of happiness, of course. And I can say that those things stay in your heart forever and make your day and life easier.

I remember being in the car park from the airport super early in the morning. I had all my luggage on the trolley and I was ready to push it until the check in, when this lady came to me and offered to help me (honestly, I needed a hand). She took the trolley and started pushing it to the airport. She was going to work at that time but she didn´t have any trouble taking all my stuff till we arrived to the check in area. All this effort with a smile on her face and a really nice conversation. She will never imagine how thankful I was and I will always be for that gesture.

I also remember in Abu Dhabi´airport that a ground staff helped me to fill out all the paperwork regarding leaving and entering countries, to pick up my luggage and to do it with a really friendly attitude, even being 2 a.m.

I also would like to mention that every time that I go to my favorite coffee shop in Auckland, my kid and I always get a free chocolate.

Something to mention is that when you are having a ¨not very good¨day, where you are exhausted and you need some support, but your family is far away, this kind of situations and people´ actions just make your day shine and get that smile back on your face.

This is why I would like to dedicate this port to say THANK YOU to all that great people around the world that give without expecting anything in return.

Below I quote some of the anecdotes and experiences that ¨my moms¨ have in their memories´ boxes.

¨Something anecdotal… The doctor tied me up when I was giving birth and I said to the him: you don´t need to, I´m not going to escape¨
Itzíar C.

¨I changed the date when we were moving houses because it was going to be to close to the birth of my daughter, but she decided to come to this world on that same date. At the hospital they thought I was a single mom because my husband was taking care of the truck with all our furniture instead of being there with me¨
Paqui D.

¨My bobos have not and will likely recover. After nursing two babies I no longer have breasts that are sexually appealing. They are smaller, droopier and one is now bigger tan the other, Gone are those days of showing cleavage. I´m now seek stain resistant clothing.¨
Anonymous

¨My husband, he attended my birth as he was the midwife, poor thing, he didn´t go away for a second¨
Mila

¨I was 23 years old when I had my first kid, I didn´t know what to expect, but having a 5 kilos baby was like… uf! I thought I was going to die. I can´t say it was a nice experience for me because I had a though time.¨
Inés D.

¨During my labor there were heaps of anecdotes. I was past due so they had to induce my labor. Finally, and after more than 24 hours, I got a cesarean. My husband was so nervous that he went to the toilet and shaved his chest just in case he had to hold the baby skin against skin. And he wasn´t wrong, because he had to do that as they had to stitched me up.
Another funny fact was that with the epidural my legs where totally useless, couldn´t move them or feel them and every time that the midwife came to the room, my husband had to help her bending my legs because I wasn´t able at all.¨
Maria B.34

¨The first time my kid walked by himself I was the proudest mom in the world ¨
Maria F.

¨During labor I felt sleep and my partner and the midwife had to wake me up to push.¨
Itxaso I.

¨The first thing my kid does when he wakes up is ask for ¨baba¨ that is my dog that is called ¨Stich¨
It is just an unconditional love¨
Zeltia G.

¨When I saw my baby for the first time… instead of having that connection that other moms have I just thought – OMG, it is impossible that this fat and Chinese looking kid has came out of my body-  I thought this just for a second but I will always remember it.¨
Silvia A.

¨Every birth, woman and kid is unique, what works once could not work next time. With my first kid I was a ¨book mom¨, I followed everything that was meant to happen every single month, but with my second one I just listen to what my daughter asks and needs and it seems to be working.¨
Kasia S.

¨I always tell the same story… When my daughter was born and the midwife was going to give her to me I asked her to clean her first¨
Araceli M

¨Funny fact… I knew I was getting pregnant at the time I was making love, an inexplicable feeling.
During my labor, I had a doctor that was attending his first birth. He was going to Africa to a charity organization and had to experience one birth before going there.
I had my daughter in 2 hours and a half, dilating from 2cm to 10cm too fast and without epidural… I felt that pain for a long time afterwards.¨
Gisèle G.

¨I gained 18 kg during my pregnancy and after giving birth a friend of mine told me that she had a nightmare with me where I was exploding next to her. At least she told me later on, hehe.¨
Mónica S.

¨I like to have nice breakfasts, if I go to a hotel they lose money with the buffet and me. Anyway, when I was pregnant and going to have a scan with my husband, I remember asking him to go somewhere for breakfast after it and before going back to work. But where we had the scan there weren´t any nice places so we had to go to a lame place. When my husband turned around to ask me what I wanted, I was crying, just because I wanted to have a nice breakfast.
Another one was that the scans never show if I was having a boy or a girl, but doctors always said that in their opinion it looked like I was having a boy. When I gave birth the doctor said ¨she is a lovely little girl¨and my husband and I were shocked as we were expecting a boy. Thanks God we painted the room in yellow, otherwise…¨
Cristina M.

¨That she always recognizes her mom.
And every time that daddy shaves his face and get a haircut she cries. Daddy has decided not to have a haircut for a while XD¨
María

¨For me, having kids was like going to an undiscovered path where kids surprise you everyday. Today, one of my daughters was imitating me like when I scold the other one.
But if I have to say something anecdotal, I will emphasize the kindness of Italian people. They have always tried to help me with the little ones even if they didn´t know me at all, making things easier and valuing everything that have done in my situation, with 2 kids and no friends or family close by.
I remember in Catania one day that started raining and a woman stopped next to me and asked me how I wanted to do it, wait till the rain was gone or put on the rain coats. She didn´t move from my side till we were all good.
Or when in the hospital we had to go for a scan for the little ones, and when they realized I didn´t know Italian and that I was by myself, they got his couple to stay with me and come with me to the car park.
Or when a waitress offered me to swing the pram so the babies won´t wake up and I could have a peaceful lunch.
Or when in some restaurants they don´t care that you are going with 2 kids and they even invite you to tiramisu or nutella panini, because they know you need it.
And not to mention the 3 families that helped me to get out of the plane, or the airport waitress that invited the girls to have free orange juice and all those persons that congratulate me on the good job that I am doing.¨

Ana P.

As you can see, the majority of the quotes are positive. It is true that having a baby change your life, but if you weigh up the hard times and the good times I can assure you that your memories´ box will be full of those moments that put that lovely smile on your face.

Mommy4real

 

 

 

 

 

Back to work?

Para el link en español, pincha aquí…vuelta-al-trabajo

Before beginning this post, I would love to ask all mums out there, was it hard for you to go back to work? Did you ever imagine before that it was going to be that tough? Do you have family that helps if baby/kid is sick? when did you put your baby into daycare?
Please, share your experiences!Please!

Well, this is a topic that recently affected me.

When my baby was 9 months, I decided that was a good time to put him into daycare and start looking for a job.
But I´ll first explain my personal situation. My baby was born in January (in Australia) and we moved to New Zealand when he was just 3 months old. As you can imagine, we didn´t know many people so when my husband had to go to work the only person that I could talk to (if you can consider that talking), was my little baby.

Then a bit of time came by, we met other people with kids and some of them were already working. ¨How could they do it? ¨
At the beginning I thought, ¨I just need to go back to work and have adult conversations¨ But the thought of leaving my baby with some strangers pushed me back.

At the end, I decided to start looking for a job
¨Lets start part time¨I said.
And I got it. I got a part time role, where I only had to go to work 3 days a week. Pretty good to start with, as the baby only had to be at daycare a few hours a day.

Let me tell you. I remember I went to 8 different daycares to make sure I was choosing the right one, and when I decided  which one was the winner I went for the second time with the little one to let them know I wanted to enroll my son with them.
As soon as I tell them they said:
¨Ok, let´s start now. You can go to a coffee shop nearby to read all the information and he can stay here for an hour, to see how he goes¨

¨OMG!!!! To see how he goes? What about me? I´m the one already struggling with the idea…¨
I still remember that horrible feeling. I was going to be away from him. I was going to leave him with people that I didn´t know anything about. How could I be such a bad mum?
But I did it. And first thing I did on my way to the coffee shop was called my parents. I needed to call them and cry… cry because I was already missing him, because I felt so bad, because I needed them to let me know I was doing something right, because they were once in my same situation.

4 months have gone and my kid has been going to the same daycare since. At the beginning was only for 4 hours a day and then increasing little by little.
He loves that place. He´s learning, making friends, interacting, getting sick every now and then and the teachers not only help him, but also me. They help me orientating me with his different stages and more.

But this doesn´t end up here. He´s now 1 year old (13 months to be more specific) and I just started a full time job.
I though that I wasn´t going to feel this way again, but adding 2 more hours without seeing that little precious made me cry… yes, again.
On my first day at work I was anxious to come back home and see his little face. First thing he did when he saw me was given me a huge hug that made my eyes so watery that I could even fill a sea.

Before having him, I never had this feeling before. I remember when I moved to this side of the world I felt devastated leaving my parents and brother so far away, like a piece of my heart was taken away, but this…. this was something out of this world, an unmanageable feeling.

Like all those moms and dads reading this post that have kids, I love my baby and I sometimes think that I´m the only one that knows how to look after him or take care of him, but there are pretty good trained people that every now and them teach me new ways to do things, and sometimes I just don´t realized that my kid is starting to be a little boy and not a baby anymore… But we all know, he´ll be my baby even when he´s 30 years old.

Something you didn´t expect?

Para el link en español, pincha aquí algo-que-no-imaginabas

Ok, this is a question that provides very different answers, but in my opinion, it also offers heaps of information and different points of view of what to expect when you are expecting or planning to have a baby.

Before having a baby and even being pregnant, I used to think that being a mom was going to be like in the movies…You have the baby in two seconds, you look amazing while you are pushing in the hospital and after that, your life remains the same but with more love around you.

Well, when I was pregnant I used to dream about what my life was going to be after having my kid, I couldn´t wait to see all happening. Then I had my baby boy and reality kicked in.

It´s true, love is everywhere… but also a lot of worries about heaps of things, it´s also true that you can spend the whole day just looking at that cutie little person, but you will also won´t be able to sleep for the whole night (at least for a while), it´s true that it´s amazing how they change day by day, but so is your life, is not that your life is ending (like some people say), but changes will happen, now you need to organize your life around a baby that needs you, whose life depends on you, literally.

That is why I love to ask this question to moms that I know… What has happened that you didn´t expect or what is different from what you thought it would be?
And below you can see some of those answers, enjoy!

¨My daughter has been suffering and hurting herself and that was something that changed our life. They say that kids come to this world to show parents something in life they don´t know yet, and I´ve learn a lot about me and how to fix all my mistakes. ¨
Gisèle G.

¨I didn’t imagine that when I have some time for myself because she´s at a sleepover, the only thing I can think of is her. And I can´t help looking at my phone to check if she has text me telling me about how she´s doing instead of relax and enjoy.¨
Araceli Mimg_9523

¨The postpartum and the few first months. I admire those moms that are alone, because I don´t know if I could have been able to do it without my husband.¨
Kasia S

¨All the bad and hard things that motherhood have and that now one told me about. I think is a bit error that most women sublimate motherhood and then it has nothing to do with reality.
I have told all my friends all the bad things about it, and all the hard bits, because I think is easier if you know about them so you can be ready when it happens. I don´t care if I don´t show everyone that everything is fantastic because in my experience, I didn´t have any help with the postpartum and it was very difficult and if I knew about it I would have organized my life in a different way.¨
Mónica S

¨I couldn´t understand why people used to be so worry about kids falling down (it´s only a bump). Know I can see why¨
Silvia A.

¨The truth is that I´ve never thought that it was going to be that difficult to catch up with friends that don´t have any kids. When my friends become parents they used to tell me that they didn´t have enough time and I found that difficult to believe, but it´s now happening to me.
8pm is now too late to catch up because is bath time, get dinner ready, etc. and before was the right time to go out.¨
Zeltia G.

¨Most things were unexpected even if you had heard about them. Realizing that you will have stretch marks for the rest of your life was one of them¨
Anonymous

¨That this new and huge feeling for that little person is also full of worries every day. Things that you never thought about they now all come to my mind. ¨
Itxaso I.

¨That indescribable and unconditional love that you feel for them¨
María F.

¨I never though how intelligent they are even when they are super little. I´m surprise because every day she learns something new. We can tell her something and next time she will know what we are talking about. It´s great!¨
María B.

¨I never imagined that I was going to be this happy. And becoming a grandmother just made me fully happy. I can´t be any happier.¨
Inés D.

 ¨I could never have imagined that my son couldn´t leave without breastfeeding after being 2 years old.¨
Mila

¨Breastfeeding. I suppose that like the other pregnant women I imagined myself cuddling my baby, looking at her while she is breastfeeding and getting that mom-baby connection. BIG LIE!
In my experience, breastfeeding has been one of the most difficult things of being a mom, and with a 2 month old baby, I sometimes, thing I can´t keep going and just thing about going to bottle feeding. Breastfeeding is painful when the milk isn´t there, because your baby sucks and sucks but there isn´t much for her, she gets frustrated and you feel bad because you aren´t able to feed her, you are also super tired from the birth and then you have to keep up with a sucker machine that when she doesn’t get what she wants, she will suck until bleed (literally)
But when the milk comes up, things don´t go better, it´s even more painful, your breasts are super full and they seem like they are about to explode, your starving baby, that now has what she wants can´t take the milk out because your breast are like 2 rocks and there is no way she can attach. When she finally attaches, and milk starts to flow, it goes to a point that the baby just struggles to drink all that quantity and choke on the milk.
Meanwhile, I don´t know what to do, because the milk is still flowing, so I check on the baby while all the milk is everywhere. The kid is still hungry and tries to drink awgain and finally she gives up and starts crying and crying.
With time, things seems to go better, but I don´t think so, I just think we get used to everything. My breast still hurts, the baby still chokes, but a bit less. And if during the night she sleeps longer than normal, I have to wake up and pump or I explode.
To all these issues, you need to add the physiologic one. Before, I spoke about ¨the sucker machine¨, and I did it on purpose, because sometimes I just feel like a caw whose goal in life is just produce milk. Thanks God that I´m a realistic person that doesn´t believe in complaining as a solution, so I´ve gone to a point where I think this is an association, I need someone to empty me and she needs someone to feed her, so we both have a function here.¨

María

¨I never expect to be jealous of my husbands life. i.e. that he gets to shower everyday, have adult conversations, be in rush hour traffic, go to the bathroom by himself, etc.¨
Anonymous

img_6811 ¨The adaptation period since the baby is born until he/she is a few months all. I thought it wasn´t going to be as hard as it is.
You have to adapt to a new little person and he/she needs to adapt to a whole new world. It´s very complicated and I though it was going to be easier and not as intense and hard as it is.¨
Paqui D.

 ¨They always say that life changes when you have a kid and I always thought it was an exaggeration. I realized that is true from the moment where, to make any plans, you need to schedule every single hour with everyone.¨
Itzíar C.

 ¨I never imagined that since the moment my kid was born, I would never sleep the same again.¨
Estefi R.

 ¨Constant change in how kids need to be interacted with.¨
Acie

 ¨Realizing that I didn´t know what true love was until I had my baby girl¨
Rebeca O.

¨What I never imagined is that my life was going to be this way, is a scavenger hunt since you wake up till you go to bed. You can´t delay anything, because you won´t do it. You need to schedule everything and it doesn´t matter if you are sick because they need you¨ 
Ana P.

 Now you see, how different are all the points of view from these mums.
In my personal experience, I never imagined that postpartum was going to be the way it is, I never imagined I was going to love someone that much, I never imagined that I was going to be worried about things that I´ve never thought before, I never imagined how excited I was going to be seeing my kid learning or discovering something new, but what really shocked me is that I never imagined I was going to understand my parents so much in so many things they used to tell me or do when I was a kid… I´ve become a mother and not long ago, I was just a daughter.

So, as I said on one of my posts, every life, mother, family and kids are unique, so this can give you an idea, but I can tell you now, there is nothing better than experiencing it yourself.

Good luck in this journey, I´m sure you´ll do great and you´ll have plenty of unexpected things coming your way, but don´t forget that sometimes unexpected is just magical.

 

 

 

From breastfeeding to bottle feeding…

Para la versión en español, pincha aquí de-dar-el-pecho-a-dar-leche-en-polvo

Before having a baby I’ve always thought that bottle feeding wasn’t going to be an option.

Everyone used to tell me that breastfeeding was better, healthier and cheaper and honestly, it looks so good and easy in the movies.

Well, after having my little one I tried pretty hard. No one told me that it could be a point were your nipples could even bleed. And in my case, they did.

I tried very hard for a few weeks but it wasn’t happening. The baby wasn’t getting enough milk so he was crying like crazy during the nights and waking up too often during the day.

After those weeks were I was crying every time that the feeding time approached, my husband and I decided to buy a pump (because formula wasn’t an option… how was I going to give my baby formula having milk inside me that was much better – how bad mom was I going to be?)

So I got a pump. At the beginning, I was feeding my kid every 2 hours, what means that I had to pump the milk for around 30 minutes, feed the baby for another 30 minutes, then change his nappy and get him to sleep. Overall, it used to take me 2 hours to do all that.

You do the maths… he was eating every 2 hours and it was taking me 2 hours. That’s basically too full on. Not time for me to eat, not time for me to have a shower, clean, etc.

img_4929

At the beginning it was manageable because my husband and mum were at home, but after a few weeks when my husband was going back to work and my mom back to Spain, was something unthinkable of.

All the midwifes that came home to check up on the baby and me, used to ask me if I was going to go back to breastfeed, but that wasn’t an option.

After visiting a doctor, he recommended me to take a pill that will cut off the milk. I got it but I said to myself “I’ll wait as much as I can before giving up on breastfeeding”

Well, after sleeping on the pillow that same night, I woke up and took the pill and gave my kid formula for the first time. The feeling was horrible, I thought I was the worst mom on hearth as I felt I wasn’t doing enough for my newborn. Next day I still felt bad, but a bit better, and everyday was a bit easier till a point that formula was better than I thought it was going to be.

I’m not saying any of the options is the right thing to do, what I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t matter what the other moms are doing, you have and must do whatever works better for you.

Then I started asking other people, other mums. Some of them breastfeed for 6 months, other for 12 and others not even for 1 day, and I realized that I was the best mom I could be. I was giving my child the best option for both of us. The best option for him, because he had enough milk every time he needed it, the best option for me, because in my case, breastfeeding was killing me and making me unhappy, so formula was the best way to be mentally healthy and be able to enjoy my little boy.

That’s is why I wanted to write this post, because I would like to tell all the future moms not to worry. You’ll do it great and you’ll find the right way for you. Just not forget about this, every baby is different and so is every mom.

My crazy living room.

Para la versión en español, pincha aquí mi-salon-desastre

Hello everyone!

This is just a small post that I would like to share with you to show you how my day ends…Everyday…
First of all I just want to say that before having a baby and when going to visit some friends that did already have children I used to think
¨OMG, how can they have all these toys around? Whenever I have a kid I´m going to be much more organize…¨

Well, I learnt that when kids are involved, you can’t talk… Because you don´t know how you´re going to be as a mom/dad or how your kid is going to behave.

Anyway, going to the point, my house looks pretty tidy every morning, but at the end of the day… boom! Is like a bomb has exploded inside (probe below)

Some people will say that my kid has to many toys, others will say that is my fault as I’m not teaching him to behave…
Well, I can say that I’m happy having a crazy living room at the end of the day. I just love playing with my kid, let him explore and discover! Sometimes I even hide toys around the house so he can find them when he goes exploring.
But this doesn´t mean I don´t teach him boundaries and what I think is wrong and right, I do it, but now is the time when he can be a kid, so I let him be.

I admit that I end up the day so tired that I just want to go to bed, but is totally worth it. Is totally worth it to see him getting excited with a teddy bear or loving to put different shape toys into the right holes.

I just can say that I love my chaotic living room at the end of the day.

Moms reading this… are you all in the same situation? or something similar?

 

Labor. My personal experience.

Para la versión en español pincha aquí parto-experienciapersonal

Well, as promised, here it goes my personal experience during labor.

I would like you to read this from a point of view where you don’t know what’s going on, because it’s your first time, but also from a funny perspective, as I didn´t have any major problem and now that I think about it I can´t do anything but laugh.

Everything started in Canberra on the 31st of December.

We are in Australia and I have only 10 days left till my due date.

I´m having New Year´s dinner with mum and my husband. Dinner is just fantastic, my mum is such a great cook.
After dinner, we do the typical Spanish tradition of eating 12 grapes at midnight and we have a drink (well, they have a drink) and we listen to some music while chatting about everything in general.

My lover and my mum have already drunk two bottles of champagne, so you can imagine how funny they are.

After a little while, we decide that is time to go to bed.

It´s 2:30 a.m. and I just need to pee (this is pretty normal when you are pregnant) But this time… OMG! It´s like I´m not going to make it to the toilet. I pee and while going back to bed…Hold on! I´m getting older and I can´t control my pee or…shit! I think my waters just broke!

After a few seconds I go next to my husband…
¨Honey, wake up! Wake up! Wake up! ¨
He finally wakes up… (Well, after all that wine and Champaign you weren´t expecting to get him up that easy.)

I explain to him the situation
¨I think we might have to go to the hospital¨
It just takes him a few seconds to react and first thing he says is
¨Relax¨

Ufffffffffff!! Relax??? I don´t think this is the right way to start.

Ok, I call the hospital, just want to know exactly what do I have to do. They tell me to be calm (as much as possible) and have a shower, after that I just need to go to the hospital to check that everything is going ok.

So, I go wake up my mum (also takes me a bit of time) and go into the shower.

After this, we take our bags and we are ready to go.
But, how do we get to the hospital?
By cab! (someone says) Oh…yes, I think that on the 1st of January, at 3 a.m. in the morning all cabs are just working for us in Canberra.
Obviously we can´t drive there, my husband will blow up the machine if he gets a random alcohol test done and my mum doesn´t have a driver license… GREAT!

So, after 15 minutes waiting for the taxi, I just decide that I´ll be the one taking us there. But… Murphy law. As soon as we get into the car, the cab arrives.

I never thought before that seeing a cab would make me that happy!

We arrive to the hospital.
Note: A few weeks ago when we did the labour courses the midwifes told us where to entry into the hospital, but now we aren´t able to find the door.

We finally get into the hospital and we go to the delivery area.

They take us into a room.
What´s going on? Is there anyone working around here?

The midwife comes and asks for my personal information (DOB, address and full name) Tick!

But this is just the beginning.
¨Now I need you to let me know when you finish with your contraction¨ she says, ¨because I need to check how many centimeters you are dilated

Great! I finish with my contraction and here she goes… fingers inside my body.

-¨You are only 2cm dilated¨ she exclaims.

What???? Only??? That has to be wrong!!! How painful is this going to be when I´m 10?? Oh mama!!!!

She explains to me that we have 2 options… morphine for the pain and staying at the hospital, or some panadol and tablets to sleep and go back home till I can´t hold it longer. OMG! I can´t hold it longer already! Hahaha

Ok, I just decide I´m going home. Soooo lets get another cab! Yay!!

We arrive home, I have all the tablets and go to bed.
You know that sensation when you are just getting sleep and the alarm goes off?? That´s more or less what happened to me.

I wake up after 5 hours sleep, it´s 8 in the morning and thanks God my husband comes with a towel, because as soon as I sit down… All dinner comes out! (Bugger! My mum put so much effort on that dinner)

Well, lets go to the hospital again, this time in our own car. My mum and partner are counting now how long is between each contraction and how long do they last.

We get into the hospital and they take us to the biggest room in the area. And again… check your personal details please.
4cm… This has to be a joke!!! Can´t believe how painful is this and there is still more to come.

Note: Before continuing with this story, just want to let you know that before labor, I used to be very cocky saying that I wasn´t going to have any kind of pain relief.
But at this point I´ve already taken panadol and tablets to sleep.

But lets go on, because more things are happening…

The midwife offers me morphine. I accept it. I´m against drugs but in this scenario I would have anything (legal, of course)
Morphine gets me a bit silly (more than usual) but I still feel the pain.

I have to say that my breath paths are amazing, I haven´t lost control… yet… So that is why I´m not screaming like a little pig.

I already lost track of time. My husband and mum come and go into the room with a coffee, sandwich, croissants… For God shake, how long have we been here??

But this is not even near to the end. I decide that I want epidural. Why not?una.png

They tell me that I can´t have it yet as I´m not dilated enough.
Seriously???? When are you going to get me the epidural??? When half head is out???

How funny are midwifes!!

The future dad of the baby is just looking at me with a very worried face. He asks me if I would like to go for a walk.

I look at him with the expression on my face saying… “No, it might be better if we just run a marathon you know, because I feel so good right now.” HA!

Anyway, I end up going for a walk with him. And this doesn´t happen very often, but he was right. In a walk of 2 minutes, I dilate another 2 cm. This means I can get oxytocin and epidural. Yuhu!! Thank you husband!

While all this is happening my poor mum doesn´t know whether to stay outside of the room, not to see me in pain or inside just in case she needs to help.

My man keeps telling me that I´m doing a great job, something that I appreciate.

Meanwhile, I can´t stop asking my partner to call the midwife because I want the epidural ASAP. 3 times I ask for her and because no one goes after her I decide that I will go and find her myself.

My lovely husband tells me to go back to bed and he goes out. When he comes back he says
¨I´ve already called her, she´ll be here as soon as she can¨(Note: that was a lie, he confessed the next day that he never found the midwife but had to tell me that so I´ll calm down)

The midwife comes after a thousand years waiting and she asks me again for my personal details. After that, she gives me some gas.

My husband explains that I need to breathe within the tube, because if I exhale outside the tube we can all end up a bit dizzy.

But seriously, I don´t really care where the air goes.

He´s taking my hand. My mum is outside, I think she might be 1km away, because she can see me suffer. But because this is painful and I´m screaming, she can hear me from the other side of the hospital.

And lets vomit again. What where you thinking? Pain plus drugs, can´t lead to anything good in your stomach.

Finally they call the anesthetist. And because is public holiday, he´s at his house having a BBQ.

He arrives to the room with shorts, flip flops and sunnies on his head. Oh God!! Where is the blue uniform from the TV shows?? Has he ever washed his hands??

They make me lay on my side. Right now, I don´t even really know how many people are in this room, that suddenly feels small. He introduces himself and asks me for my personal information. Again!

They put something really cold on my back. He is talking to my husband about hobbies and what was he doing at home before… And I´m like… “Please, could you focus on that huge syringe?”

I think he was having clown for lunch as he just tells me:

  1. ¨Do you realize that this is the most embarrassing situation of your life? You are going to be shameless after this. ¨
    Oh… thank you, I didn´t even think about all of that.
  2. ¨Don´t worry, I´ll get it in and out and you´ll be as new.¨ Really?? That’s the best you could tell me in front of my husband?

After all, epidural is done. Thank you anesthetist you were right, I just feel like new.

He just waits 5 minutes to check everything is good and he goes back to his barbeque. Well, he leaves and also the other hundred people that were in the room.

We are now my mum, husband and myself.

The midwife explains to me how the epidural works. If I´m in pain I just have to press a bottom every 15 minutes and the drugs go into my body. Easy!

I can´t feel from hips down but I can see my toes moving.

I ask my mum to bring me a kit kat, I´ll die for a bit of chocolate. And what could be better? Have a break, have a kit kat.

I´m eating the chocolate and enjoying the moment. My mum tells me that she´s very proud of me and that I´m doing fantastically well.

But when I´m relax I start to feel another contraction. What? Shouldn´t this have disappear with the drugs?

I press the bottom.

Nothing happens…

¨Press again¨ someone says.

Seriously, the bottom is almost coming from the other side because of how hard I´m pressing it.

Ok, we are going back to the start. And the kit kat just leaves my body… vomit again.
Well, look at the bight side, just eat a kit kat twice for the price of one. (Revolting…)

Another lie, this time from my mum
¨Don´t worry, the epidural machine is working, but you just need to give it time¨

I ask for the anesthetist again. Ha! He´s already in his bbq (they don´t tell me that but I could imagine) and he´s never coming back.
The midwifes tell me he´s on another delivery.

Well, I´m in my bubble, shouting like an orc, talking in Latin and rolling my head like the girl from the exorcist.

My mum is holding the gas tube in my mouth and my husband is holding my hand.

This is getting less and less funny.

And here it comes the midwife.
¨Give me your hand¨ she says.
So that is what I do.

She takes my hand into my female parts and I can touch my baby’s head.
Fuck! This is happening without epidural. But this is what I wanted, right?
Karma for being so cocky.

¨Ok Laura, put you shit together and lets do this¨, I say to myself.dos.png

The midwife asks if another midwife can come in. She is doing her practices and this is a good experience for her.

I don´t really care, like if the Pope wants to come in and bless the baby.

Well, you can imagine that someone doing the practical experience would be young, maybe on her mid twenties. Not this time. That woman was around 80.

I don´t want to be rude, but is she doing the practical experience with 80? How many times did she take the same subjects? I don´t think this makes me feel very confortable and safe.

Anyway, 11 minutes from that point of time till baby comes out. The head first, with a lot of effort, but is almost done.

Now push… Wait, don´t push… Now breath, don´t breath…

After that, the body comes out with a smaller push.
17:01 How good is that? Never felt more relieved in my life.

They put the baby on my chest. OMG, he´s so little and he´s a bit purple because of the effort.

The placenta comes out. They show it to me (because I ask for it)
Baby is healthy, directly to the boobs (he´s such a man, you can tell)

After a few minutes, they suggest me to have a shower.
¨Best shower of your life¨, they say.

I go into the shower, naked and full of blood, amniotic fluid and much more things.
I shower and go back to see that cutie pie.

They tell my husband to remove his shirt so he can hold the baby and let him feel the heat.
But why?? Mummy is here!!

I new woman comes into the room. This hasn´t finish yet.
¨Hello, I´m coming to stitch you up.¨
What?? Why you didn´t do this before the shower? No, it´s better to make me trust you again and ten… stub in your back!

So, she stitches me (I think she was just doing art, or a jersey because she was there forever)

She finishes and they give me my little one back.
All good. But I just want to rest.

We Facetime with my dad, then with the in laws.
I´m not a hundred percent, so I´m not getting anything they are saying or anything that’s happening around me and this is because with the stitches they put the gas higher and I´m really dizzy. My voice is like if I have a demon inside me.

Everything seems to have finished. They take me to a new room.
Get the baby cover in blankets like a little worm and put him next to me.

See you tomorrow mum, see you tomorrow husband, I need to rest.
They go home. I think they also need to sleep a little bit.

We sleep. But I wake up and I can´t stop looking at that tinny person sleeping next to me.
I can´t believe we have done this. Our baby.

I try to go back to sleep. They baby moves so I wake up again.
He must be so tired because of all the effort he just did.

I go through the night just with him, but in the morning they bring another mum and bub to the room. That baby doesn´t stop crying.

I text my husband to come and pick us up. Being at a hospital makes me feel a bit sick.
My mum comes with him and brings me pancakes with Nutella. Its 8 a.m. so I could eat a thousand of them.

It´s 12 in the afternoon and it´s time to go home.

A new life has begun…