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Well, well, well… this is a very tricky subject… Postpartum…
Uhm… I don’t think I would call it “postpartum”. I would rather call it… “Craziness”, “New era”, “I don’t know what the fuck am I doing” or “Am I good enough endless doubt”.
Do you get what I’m saying?
Yes, we all know that being a mom is an amazing experience. I love my kid and all the great and bad times that come along with motherhood. We all have been babies once and human beings have survived having even ten babies in the same family, but holly molly, you don’t really know what is all about until you have your own.
I remember when I was pregnant, going to the “preparation to birth” and other classes to the hospital. I was feeling very happy, excited and motivated about it and I was feeling a bit more ready and confident after them. But when the moment arrived, I wasn’t ready… at all!
Maybe wasn’t that, maybe I was ready but I didn’t even know where to start from, or how to start. “Why is he crying?” ,”Is he hungry?” ,”How do I bath him?” ,”Is it to hot for that pijama?” ,”Is this milk warm enough?”
I thousand questions that don´t come with a manual.
As I said on one of my latest post, I had trouble breastfeeding, but adding to that, I was very constipated and my dorsal muscles were very painful (they said because of all the effort while pushing during labor) and I only could had paracetamol to make the pain go away. GREAT!
So nothing to do with the idyllic and amazing picture from the movies.
Some people will think this is just winging without reason, but I don´t care. The time after giving birth is just a hormone party in your body.
And yes, sometimes you just feel like shit (sometimes too often) because your body is not the same, you don’t sleep enough hours, you’re feeding a new little person night and day, in my case every 2 hours, you have pain in some places you didn’t even know they existed before, because you have been stitched up (down there) and because you don’t feel sexually appealing …at all.
But even with all these going on, you still look after a human being that doesn’t know how to communicate with you in any other way apart of crying.
Some days you just think that you are not good enough! Or believe that you are going to faint, because really, what kind of person can survive sleeping those short hours a day????
But let me tell you… you are more than “good enough”, because you are there for that little baby, waking up every 2 hours (some of you even more often), because you are taking out your breast in public to feed your kid (even if you are super shy), because you are always thinking about that new person first, knowing that this could mean not having a shower in a few days, dressing the same jeans for a month or eating anything that’s available in your kitchen, yes, even that broccoli that you hate so much.
So let me tell you again, you are MUCH MORE than “good enough.”
That´s why you don’t have to worry, don’t think you are alone on this, I haven’t meet a mom yet that hasn’t told me this same story (your story, my story, our story) and if someone ever said to you “postpartum was easy and no troubles at all” BIG BULLSHIT!
But everything gets better, you will start to know your baby, she/he will start to know you, she/he will adapt to a new world and step by step your baby will start to be a little person, so if you are having one of those hard days, wash your face with cold water, put some red lipstick on, make yourself a Nutella toast and make yourself smile. Tomorrow will be a new day, and I´m sure it will be a wonderful one.
For all those mums around the world, YOU ARE MUCH MORE THAN ENOUGH!